Club-drinking harriers with a serious running problem. Running 6pm Tuesdays.
Passing The Hashing Baton Tuesday 5 January 2016 / Uncle Yap The RLC Harriers AGM Run started after torrential rain, a harbinger of things to come. Sure enough, the rain had turned a simple slope into a perilously slippery path to negotiate and there were many muddied backsides in that patch of jungle next to Monument Hill. After what seemed like ages, we emerged to the road leading to the Sultan of Selangor's KL palace. Then, it was downhill to yet another patch of jungle before the trail led home to cold beer at The Hash Patch where the Circle was conducted for the last time by out-going ButaButa GrandMaster Woon Then Yew. After that, it was hot showers and back to business at the Banquet Hall where Chairman Col Johan called the meeting to order. The minutes of the last AGM were passed with members continuing to be peeved and disappointed about the recurring annual empty promises for a place to call home; to wit, the hitherto still-born proposed redevelopment of the Gazebo. The annual report was delivered verbally by GM Woon. The Statement of Accounts showed a surplus of some five thousand rinngit. This induced in Uncle Yap a modicum of ecstasy and he proposed to retain the entire Mismanagement team for another year. In the election that followed, Shyam Doshi aka Tarzan was elected as Convener (Grand Master) assisted by TYWoon, Kathy Chang and Adrian Cheng (Bugs Bunny). After a very successful and eventful 2015, the hash baton is now passed to another energetic GM which augurs well for the coming year. On! On!
RLC Harriers' 2015 Send-Off Tuesday 29 December 2015 / Jane Oon After a fantastically eventful year, the Hashers of RLC could not let 2015 leave without a bang ... and so it was on the last run of the year numbered 898. Some 50 runners turned up and off we went into the Lake Garden where the first check got everybody squeezing through a narrow gap before climbing up to the National Monument. The second check was quite predictable and we gingerly negotiated our way down the slippery slopes of one of the last remaining bits of jungle in Kuala Lumpur. When we emerged at Menara LPP, the SCB (short cut b*****ds) turn left for home while the rest crossed the road where the third check posed a huge unsurmountable problem. The Dragon Trail was flooded and no alternative route could be found. Little did the runners realise it was a back-check into the government offices and then a road run back to the Club. At the hilarious Circle that followed, many sinners were punished for crimes, real or imaginary. We dressed up in our Cowboy fineries and made our way to The Pavilion for a night of revelry and festivities. Wine and beer and whisky flowed freely. Sue and GM Woon won the muscles contest and awards were handed out for outstanding Hashers - CKLeong got a pair of baguettes for his untiring efforts in 2015; Boss received a dictionary to improve her England, oops, English and GM Buta Buta Woon, a blindman's walking stick. The band kept the festive mood going - getting everybody on the floor with evergreens like YMCA, Stayin' Alive and other rollicking numbers ... and so we danced and laughed and had a jolly good time saying farewell to yet another wonderful year. Good-bye 2015. Hello 2016. On! On!
RLC Harriers Run #897 Tuesday 22 December 2015 Run Site : SM Sri Hartamas Hares : Steven Khoo and F.K.Chin Weather : Totally dry As we gathered in front of the school, there was an air of expectation that Steven Khoo has a surprise for everyone. At the appointed time on this Winter Solstice Day (a very important date in the Chinese calendar and one of two celebrated not in accordance with the Lunar Calendar ... a prize to the first to tell me what is the other one?) At the appointed time of 6.00 pm, off we went to the main road to be met with a very early check. It was broken at a point further on leading to the pylons, after which we traversed some secondary jungle before climbing down and turning right on to a tarred road. The trail turned left up another jungle path and soon we were running happily in the forest. Then came the surprise as we got on to a road. There he was, our hare with his boot open, revealing the very inviting cold beer. That stop was most welcome as the parched runners quenched their thirst. After that lovely interlude, everything else was an anti-climax. FROP was Steven Yong at 72 minutes followed closely by Quiksilver Fox and Rule #1 Wendy and Mighty Mouse Lilian. We had our showers and sat round for the inevitably hilarious circle. Our latest recruit, Catherine Chang was formally awarded her pair of royal butler's gloves. GM Butabuta Woon had to go back to officiate at his family Winter Solstice dinner so our Tarzan made for a more-than-adequate substitute. Charges flew left right and centre and of note was the "No balls at all" song sung to commemorate the altercation between Dato Nik Gee and Sivanesan (one called the other "no balls" and got "bitch" in reply) For the record, nine Hashers signed the requisition for the EGM to hear her side of the story. The POP (park once policy) dinner was nasi lemak, complete with fried chicken and kambung fish. Alas, no whisky but cans of cold Carlsberg from the boot of Steven's car. So UY went home to have some single malt. The rest must have stayed on to enjoy the ambience, the camaraderie and the idle chit-chat that make each Hash gathering such great fun. On! On! p/s Those who have volunteered to help set the Members' Run next week, please meet at the usual place on Tuesday 29 Dec 2015 at 3.00 pm. After the Circle on 29 Dec run, we will adjourn to The Pavilion for the RLC Harriers New Year's Eve Party ... so dress up and be prepared to be merry As a special favour, we reproduce the lyrics to the No Balls song Come here ye children And listen to me I'll sing you a song That will fill you with glee About a young lady So pretty and tall Who married a man Who had no balls at all Chorus : No balls at all No balls at all She married a man Who had no balls at all She clearly remembered The night she was wed She took off her covers And jumped into bed She reached for his shoulders His shoulders seem small She reached for his balls He had no balls at all Oh mother oh mother Oh what shall I do My sorrows are plenty My pleasures but few Oh how could you Allow me to fall For this son of a bitch Who had no balls at all Oh daughter oh daughter Oh don't you be sad I had the same problem With your dear old dad There's many a young man Who'll run to the call Of the wife of a man Who had no balls at all The young daughter Tooks her mother's advice And found the proceedings Exceedingly nice A seven pound baby Was born in the fall But the poor little bastard Had no balls at all
RLC Harriers Run #896 Tuesday 15 December 2015 Run Site : Lake Garden & its vicinity Hares : GM Woon & Peter Leong Weather : Rain before and during but stopped around 6.30 There was a festive air around the quadrangular in spite of the incessant rain that had started pouring down at 5.00pm. People were trying out Col Johan's wicked punch and the rambutan that Uncle Yap had brought from Dr Gurmukh Singh's garden. The hashers and the guests collected their freebie (a sarong) and soon it was time for the obligatory group picture. The roti horn sounded and off the 120 of us went along the road to Jalan Parliament and left at Padang Merbok and into the squatters colony where the hares had cut a path across the wasteland that had acted as a public rubbish dumping ground. We came across discarded sofas, building material waste (from some renovation jobs) and lots of odds and ends. Very soon, we hit a road and then it was off to another patch of jungle beside Datin Ann's house. This path has been a perennial favourite among hashers but on this day, the path was extremely treacherous and slippery. Wendy Rule #1 could be heard shouting out the warning, "Don't grab the trees - full of thorns" and people heard and obeyed and fell on their bums. Lots of backsides were muddied here. We emerged at Menara LPP and the SCB turned left and made their weary way home. The others went straight across the junction and entered another patch of jungle before traversing the path along Dragon Trail and then back to the Club. FROP was Quiksilver Fox at 68 minutes (wonder how he can time his arrival to end at 8 (fatt)?) The Circle was another hilarious affair but soon it was time to bathe and dress up in our fineries ... all the men in their suits and the ladies in gowns and each capped by exquisite headgear from feathered crowning glories from the Roaring Thirties to elegant outfits that would not be out of place at the Ascot Opening Day. Very posh indeed. Fine dining followed and it was accompanied by free flow of beer and wine and many bottles of single malt whiskies, generously contributed by hash section members. We tucked heartily into the food. In between the courses, there were cake-cutting, games, fashion parades and lucky draws. The band played harmoniously in the background ... and we danced and made merry into the wee hours of the morning and we all had a jolly good time. REMINDER : Sunday 8.30am Working Gang to clear Dragon Trail Bring yourselves and parangs and cutters. All are welcome.
RLC Harriers Run #894 Tuesday 1 December 2015 Run Site : Lake Garden & its vicinity Hares : Dr C.M.Yap & Cecilia Weather : Rain before, and always threatening By the time JM CKLeong pressed the roti horn, fewer than 40 runners had signed in. This got the hares so worried about attendance (or the lack of it) that they invited some other non-hashers for the On On On As we ran off up the slope towards the Monuments, UY was the first since he always cut straight up to Monument Hill whereas the rest dutifully followed the paper pieces to the traffic lights before crossing over. Then it was down the grassy hill, across a small stream and then across to the other side. The trail then meandered a bit before the unmistakable route back to the reservoir and then through the deserted governemnt quarters and then back to familiar territory on the way back home. As usual, our Quiksilver Fox was the FROP at 53 minutes, followed closely by the bunch of usual suspects like Mighty Mouse Lilian, Rule #1 Wendy, Kentucky Fried Chicken or KFC Thambi Chai. The Circle was remarkable as it showed at least ten harriers with new haircuts. Many of our runs are outside so whenever we run in, many take the opportunity to visit the barber. Most would just sign the chit afterwards but we had Bala who, on account of his diminishing tonsorial assets, audaciously asked Mohan, the Chief Barber, for a discount due to supposedly less work since he has less hair than normal. Mohan politely told our lawyer "You should be lucky that we do not charge you a search fee" Playboy Choo was asked to reprise his amorous kissing with Ann; which he did with so much gusto that he fell off the chair. As the hilarious proceedings carried on, more and more Harriers came in, walking in innocently one by one. Dato Steven Oon, ChiMui aka Auntie aka Casey, Pauline Tan, Richard Low, etc etc so much so Cecilia was hard pressed to place everybody at a table. For the count, we had about 60 diners. (Dr Yap, just be thankful that Burns & Siti did not turn up) The hares, mindful of the rapid draining of the beer barrel, quickly ordered a few jugs and then the wine and 16 year-old GlenGrant Single Malt made their appearance. The food was supplied by Bunga Raya and we tucked in heartily .... ... and so we wined and dined into the night and we all had a jolly good time.
RLC Harriers Run #893 Tuesday 24 November 2015 Run Site : The Condoland of KiaraMas Hares : People's Run route set and papered by Peter & CK Leong, Leslie Weather : Rain before, during & after run At the inaugural people's run, the die-hards came in droves. We parked at the top of the hill and soon the rain came and we set off into the verdant jungle that still remains. After a bit, a check was found in the middle of a slope but nobody except UY was fooled. The rest went straight on and soon we were faced with a steep hill. Up, up and up with gradients from 40 to 60 and gradually tapering off to 20-30 degrees at the summit. The steep slope was unrelenting and many trees were hugged before we reached the top. Then it was on to another hill. Luckily, this time, it was down, down & down until we came to the second check across a small stream. The front runners had broken the back check (before the stream) but neglected to remove the paper to the stream ... so like fools, the second batch of runners were stranded on the other side until Thomas and Ann Choo said they recognised the path home. Like the SCB that I was/am/will be, I eagerly followed and soon was showering and drinking beer and eating vadil. The not-so-smart runners went on to yet another few twists and turns and Mike, the FROP did not reach home until 7.08pm followed closely by Thambi Chai and Lilian Mighty Mouse. The runners came trickling home and soon the only key left in the key-basket was one of a car driven by David Liew. The Circle proceeded in its usual merry ways with sinners (e.g. not wearing RLC Harriers t-shirts, carrying an umbrella throughout the run, pissing in front of everybody) being punished left, right and centre. In between finger food and beer, we survived the drizzle. Then it was time for the On On On at Sai Kong. Most of us were familiar with the place and soon we were partaking of the splendid spread of food washed down liberally with GlenMorangie (courtesy UY), Singleton (Dr Yap) and Green Label (Buta Buta GM) and wine provided by Elvis Chew. We then celebrated the birthday of Playboy Choo who was photographed kissing his wife amorously. Then came the good news that David Liew had emerged from the jungle and was safe and sound. The spontaneous applause that greeted this was so loud and full of relief. Tonight, no Oily Chapter two ... ... and so we ate and drank and made merry on a night which would have normal people rushing home to bed but which could not keep down the indomitable spirit of Hashers. On! On!
RLC Harriers Run #892 Tuesday 17 November 2015 Run Site : Vicinity of Bangsar Condoland Hares : Jim Poh aka Extra Virgin & Dato' Professor John Anthony Xavier Weather : Rain before, during & after run (totally & miserably wet) It was a dark and stormy night ......... ... and as we walked towards the first piece of paper, we found the experience somewhat eerie and surreal. But, as hard-core hashers, we persevered and soon we were walking/running some serious slopes, all on paved roads. After that free drink the week before, CCGoh even allowed Uncle Yap to reach check #1 first. That was broken when he climbed the overhead bridge across a busy road. We ran/walked through many paved roads and lanes that made up what is known as Bangsar. Nothing spectacular as we hammered on with the run. Several checks tried to delay us but we broke them easliy. Apparently the hares had tried twice, but alas in vain, to give us a run in Taman Seputeh around Thean Hou Temple ... but development has blocked off several trails and they could not bash through a decent route; hence the make-shift drive-by run in the concrete jungle called Bangsar. The FROP Quiksilver Fox (who else?) came in just after 75 minutes when it was already gloomily dark, followed by the usual suspects, S**T Stirrer Arthur Hoi, Mighty Mouse Lilian & Rule #1 Wendy Lum. The others came trickling in and the drizzle refused to let off. It was a time for giving when Extra Virgin gave each runner a Rotary T-shirt and Aru, some Carlsberg gimme's. In spite of the overcast weather, our Hashers were not dispirited as we tucked heartily into the finger food and drank lustily of what Aru dispensed, the golden elixir also known as beer. The Circle was conducted with people holding umbrellas and wearing raincoats but that did not stem the flow of ridiculous charges that make circles such frivolous fun & frolics. We then walked to Chez Steven Khoo, an eatery on the groundfloor of a condominium nearby. There she was, our young Tai Kar Cheh (big sister) aka Vivian Thong bearing a bottle of the best single malt, GlenMorangie, (what else?) . We greedily ate whatever good nosh that May (definitely Steven's better half) had to offer. The GlenMorangie was soon finished and a bottle of Chivas Regal appeared, much to the delight of the hashers who soon felt very spiritual ... ... and whatever the gloom and doom outside, whenever Hashers got together, it would always be fun, fun & more fun. On! On!
RLC Harriers Run #891 Tuesday 10 November 2015 Run Site : Somewhere in Selangor some 500m after 162 milestone to Ipoh Hares : Buta Buta GM Woon & Jenny Weather : Fine weather but always threatening to rain Deepavali dawned bright and clear and we all went to our open houses and then it was time to get to Buta Buta GM Woon's run-site. The directions were very very clear ... after the stone Ipoh 162, slow down and drive left to an empty lot, made very soggy by recent rain. Before we could even run off, the hares (hired or otherwise) were back, saying they laid a quiet and slow run shorter than 7 km. Like suckers, we all ran off into the abandoned rubber estate (must be small holdings) On and on we ran up a so-called hill which was smaller than the breast of one of the hares. After that, it was a long slog against miles and miles between abandoned rubber trees. (what a pity, Malaysians are now so well-positioned that they can afford to leave rubber trees in their prime untapped) ... ... and so we ran between the rubber trees and soon it was another check after the previous check and the flat landscape did not make for excitement except the will to continue running and finish the Deepavali trail. We all arrived back at Base Camp, well before dark, since it was a 5.00pm start. FROP was, as to be expected, Quiksilver Fox in the time of 68 minutes. We all partook of the numerous finger food including a duck, courtesy of our Wong Fook Loy aka Duck King .... ... and then the fun began. At the Circle, people were punished for helping other runners. People were also punished for NOT helping others. Some were rewarded for overtaking. Others were punished for urinating in the open. Our Bomoh celebrated his transient freedom and "talked big" in the absence of Boss who was away in Singapore visiting the grandchildren. Alka let the bastards swing and bemoaned the fact that she was wrenched away by Tarzan from her family Dwali dinner. In spite of the small number (about 30 hard-core hashers) we finished the barrel and in view of the auspicious occasion of Dwali, Aru, our beerman, was invited to join us at the restaurant and given a whip-round angpow for sacrificing his holiday to serve us beer. The hares have laid on a sumptuous 4-table spread accompanied by two bottles of GlenMorangie Lasanta and some bottles of red wine. Most generous and well appreciated ... and we drank and made merry well into the night ...
